Steve Sims: Go For Stupid

Michael Whitehouse: 00:00:00

Welcome back to the guy who knows a guy podcast. We're so excited to be back with you. And this season we are counting down to J V connect the first of its kind, December 12th to 14th, 2023. This is going to be an incredible dedicated networking event, and you are going to want to be part of it. And this podcast here to help prepare you to get the most out of this incredible event. I'm Michael Whitehouse, the guy who knows a guy. And over the next few weeks, you're going to get to hear from some of the best people in the industry about networking. As well as some solo training from me. So be sure to join us on December 12th to 14th for JB Connect. And now, let's get to the interview. Welcome once again to the guy who knows the guy podcast. I'm Michael Whitehouse, the guy who knows the guy and our guest today. I'm very excited to have on. It is Steve Sims, and I am super excited because a few, a couple months ago, I was sitting down thinking, so who are some of the networking influencers out there? And one name that came to mind was Bob Berg, who you heard on the show a few weeks ago, and the other name that came to mind was Steve Sims and. Now I've got the second one of those two people, the two biggest networking things I can think of right in front of me. So let me tell you about him if for some reason you don't know him. Do you know anyone that's worked with Sir Elton John or Elon Musk, sent people down to see the wreck of the Titanic on the seabed, or closed museums in Florence for a private dinner party, and then had Andrea Bocelli serenade them while they ate their pasta? You do now! Quoted as the real life Wizard of Oz by Forbes Entrepreneur Magazine, Steve Sims is the best selling author of... blue fishing, the art of making things happen and go for stupid, the art of achieving ridiculous goals. Sought after coach, top rated speaker after keynoting in a variety of networks, groups, associations, as well as the Pentagon and Harvard twice. That's pretty impressive. Co founder with his son, Henry of the leading community for creative disruptors, simsdistillery. com. Welcome to the guy who knows a guy podcast, Steve Sims. That's a hell of a lead up.

Steve Simms: 00:02:04

Thank you very much. I don't know how I'm going to keep that up, but I'll try.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:02:07

I have faith that you will be able to keep that up. I have, have no doubt. So for those who do not know your story about how you got started making these amazing connections, share just a little bit about how you got started doing that.

Steve Simms: 00:02:21

No different to everyone else. I literally just grew up in East London son of a construction firm. So ended up working in the, in the building trade very early on. But us entrepreneurs, we're kind of built different. So something was in me that was going, is this it? And I've always been a great believer. You need two things in life. You need curiosity and you need aggravation. Aggravation will cause you to actually do something. Curiosity will send you down a path to find it. But if you're just curious or just aggravated. It doesn't work. So get those two things married together. I had it by the bucket loads when I was young and I just thought to myself. We are the combination of the room we're in. We all know that now. I didn't know it so poetically back then, but I just looked around at my bar and it was full of a bunch of broke bikers. And I'm like, well, hang on a minute. No one here is going anywhere. I'm one of them. I need to change my room. So I went out to try and have those conversations. And a lot of people call that networking now. And they call that, you know, kind of like getting to know people and, you know, the influence. But I wanted to speak to people that were very successful and ask. Why are you successful? How do you view relationships? How do you view time management? How do you view culture? And I wanted to have those conversations. Quite simply, I wanted to podcast before podcasting existed. And so I went out to try and find a way. I left my construction firm and I then got involved in a ton of jobs. That I was ill qualified for that made me realize I should have been there. So I get this education from trying to be in places that didn't work till in the end becoming what God built me for. I became the doorman of a nightclub in Hong Kong. And while many people would have gone, well, you've gone down. Yes, I had I now had a Harvard degree in human psychology right in front of me. I was able to see how people with money interacted with each other, but more importantly, how people pretended they had money interacted with each other. How people celebrate and how people commiserate. I got to see it all. So I got a great degree in learning how people interacted with each other and then realized the key Of all networking that allowed me to go from just being on the peripheral, being on the outside, to actually being someone of desire, being someone in the circle that someone didn't want to let go. And I became that person launched me into a business where I basically launched the world's leading experiential concierge firm, and then obviously writing the two books, blue fishing and go for stupid to teach others how to do it.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:05:18

I love so much about that story. And I think so much is just, well, the first thing is that One of the pushbacks I get when I share with people that, you know, anyone can network and there's opportunity out there and all those principles is, well, that's easy for you to say because, you know, you got lucky and you went to the right schools, you know, the right people. And, and, you know, it sounds like you didn't go to the right schools to build your network. I mean, you did kind of the school of hard knocks, but it's not like you didn't go to Harvard as a student and, and, you know, meet all the right people who hooked you up with all the right jobs and get lucky. You. Went out there as the, the son of a construction worker and said, Nah, I'm going to do something better. Which sounds like something pretty much anyone could have done.

Steve Simms: 00:06:06

Yeah, again, it was that aggravation. It all comes down to what you're willing to settle for. You know, are you willing to settle for your excuses or are you willing to settle for that education? Both of them are gonna send you down the same path, but one will stop you short. There's a lot of people that go, as you said, oh, it's easy for you. Oh, you are an extrovert. Oh, you can do it. That's bullshit. You know, I'm big, I'm ugly, I'm crass, I'm inappropriate. But I had a need and that need was I need to know how come you're successful and I'm not. Yep. And that was the early stage and introvert, extrovert, those are badges. I had a need. I wasn't willing to settle for my income. I wasn't willing to settle for shitty motorbikes. I wasn't willing to live in a rough neighborhood. I wanted more of my life. I had a demand. Hey, if you're an introvert and you're thinking, Oh, I can't do those things. Trust me, fella. I'm the, I'm one of the biggest introverts out there. But I had a need that said, right, if I'm going to do this, there's got to be a purpose. And that's all introverts need. Introverts need a reason. Why am I doing this? I feel nervous about it. Sure you do, Sonny. But you need to know what the reason is. If I can get in there and I can do that, and I can come out with it with this, my house is better, my home is better, my wife's better, my kids are better, Ah! Now I've got a reason. I just need to do. So, introverts, I personally think, make the best networkers in the planet. But it's the need. You've got to have that aggravation. And if you want to kind of like go, well, it's easy for you. Then why are you listening to this podcast? You know, your, your excuses, you're, you're just prying to one day. Your excuses are play pay your bar tab. They won't. So, you know, get out of your excuses and start getting on.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:07:58

Yeah. And I, I totally agree with that idea that introverts are better networkers, and I say this as an extrovert, because in. With extroverts, it's, it's lower cost for me to just go meet more people. So I'm, I'll go to an event and talk to everyone. Or as an introvert tends to be better at follow up because you're like, I don't want it to be 10 people. Can I meet one person? Just have a really good relationship with them. And actually, I'd love you to talk a bit more about that because I was watching your, your talk this morning where, where you're talking about the power of. Of that, that follow up of sending a nice note or gift or whatnot and the leverage of that. So I'd like to talk about that, and then the other thing I'd like to talk about is, is I often say that I'm better at making connections and providing value early and not so good at keeping track of the details and remembering to send people things. And I have the feeling that you'll probably tell me something about, well, that's, that's a bullshit excuse and... You should get over it and do better. So I wanted to have you chime in on that.

Steve Simms: 00:08:57

Again, it's that introvert thing. The introvert will look for the purpose. You know, you mentioned an extrovert will go along to a networking event, and as long as he's got the eyeballs and he's the center of attention and he's getting loads of focus and chit chats and business cards, he's fine. But an introvert will go along for two conversations. And when they have those conversations, They don't want to have another two conversations the following week. So they will make sure that those conversations turn into something. Again, we work with hopefully minimum output, maximum impact. So make sure that everything you do is to the best possible. We don't want to do a turkey shoot. It literally will wear me out. In fact, true story, I had an event, and I've been doing this for years, and I've worked with everyone from Elton John, the Vatican, Elon Musk, you know, I'm pretty successful, pretty well connected. But I went out to an event in Beverly Hills the other day, and this was two weeks ago. And I went to a dinner at the Palms, and we had this meeting, and there was a whole group of people there, and I knew most of them, most of them knew me and my credentials, so I had the credibility, there was no imposter syndrome, and I chatted with them, and I spoke with them, and we conversed, and then I left the event, walked around the corner to another restaurant, went up at the bar, sat at the bar, and had a drink on my own, just way away from people, Okay, and of course, I could do a really good job of you know, scaring people away from me, you know, I look like this, so I'm sitting there with me old fashioned, no one ever sits near me, and I can make little notes of who I met that night, that was, ah, this was a good chat, that's a great, Associate, someone that you will bump into and go, Hey, Johnny, Hey, Bob, one of those. But then there were a few other people that went, hang on a minute. I can take this deeper. You know, there's a network there that I can help them with. They're doing an event that I should be speaking at. They need a bit of coaching. They need help. I've got some solutions to them. And I made notes. And then with all of those notes, once I've finished my drink, I go home the following day, I take those notes and now I turn them into action. Okay, who did I meet last night? Great to meet you, John. All the best. See you again at the next event. Those are the associates. Those are the little fluff. But then there was me. Hey, great to chat with you. But I did notice you mentioned this. If this bothers you enough, should we have a call to see how I can help you? And I will actually put those things in and there may be someone that you feel as though you want to get into that room, but you haven't displayed the value that you bring yet. So in that situation, maybe send them your book. Maybe, and this is always a good one, send them someone else's book. You see, everyone thinks the author is going to send the author's book, but the amount of times I turn around and I go, Hey, I see where you're going. A friend of mine is Cameron held a friend of mine is Jim quick. A friend of mine is Gary Vee. I just want you to have that book. Because this may help you like it helped me and send them someone else's book because they never expect an author if an author sends you that book they're like, well, you know, hasn't cost you any money because you're the author, you know, by you sending someone else's book, it shows that you paid attention to that problem. And then you look for the most viable solution to it. And you send them a gift. Minimum, they are they are just that that they're guaranteed. to go. Thanks for the book. You know, we only met that. Well, look, you said you had a problem. I've coached people before that have had that problem. And I found that this book actually helped a lot of my clients. So if that does it, great. Next time we meet the drinks on you. But if it just validates and opens you up to what the bigger problem is that you need some deeper movement on, maybe we should schedule a call. Maybe we should get in touch a bit more. Maybe we should have a one on one and you can go into whatever the other reasons are, but you're paying attention. There's the old classic line, they won't care till you show you care.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:13:23

Pay attention. Yeah, that's a really interesting concept. I, I, I love how you put that because a lot of the, the follow up concepts I hear are more like following up for the sake of following up and sending a card to everyone. And, but this is more a matter of deepening the relationship with the specific people. Not just everyone you meet and everyone you connect with, but the specific people that, that you want to, and, and, and clearly, you know, it sounds like the end result of that is hopefully some of these relationships turned into business relationships, but you're focused on how you can serve them first and then how that may turn into a business and. Remuneration back.

Steve Simms: 00:14:05

Well, hope is a really shitty marketing strategy as far as I'm concerned. So I believe that we, we surf the waves that we generate. If you go out and you meet 10 people, you need to categorize those 10 people. There may be the first four that just get a little text going, Hey, great to meet you last night. Good to know you. Then you may have another three people there that you go, well, I can't really help them, but I do know someone else that can. Hey, I heard what you were saying. I can't help you, but I'd love to introduce you to someone. Would that be acceptable? And then the last ones are the ones that you bring in to you and you know you've got to work on. You see, whenever I, I speak on stages all over the planet. And one of the things that I've done in the past is I've gone in and I've done the Sequoia tree conversation. Now you go in there and you go, Hey, what's this? And you show a picture of Sequoia tree. Largest tree in the planet. So massive, so strong that they cut a hole in it just so a bus can go through. And so they're all looking at these amazing pictures up on stage of these bloody great sequoia trees. And then you go, what's this? And there's a seed on there. And I will often go out and I will give people packs of sequoia seeds. Okay, I'd be like, there you go, there's a sequoia seed. The largest tree in the planet comes from what's in your hand. In fact, in your hand, you've got a hundreds of those seeds, and you can still hold a hundred of those potential trees with your fist tight. But what's the difference between what you've got in your hand, And this and it's attention. See, when you get in the Sequoia seed, you have to make sure that it's planted in the right soil. You need to make, make attention, pay attention to its location, and you need to make sure the location is the best one to allow that seed. It's full ability to grow. Okay. It's no good having a business conversation with a new, new recruit. You've just met. in a strip joint, you know, it's just location. So you make sure that sequoia seed is planted in a location that's going to be fertile and going to pay attention to its needs. And then you nurture it and you protect it and you pay attention to it and you revisit it and then it breaks soil as a tiny little leaf. Now you gotta make sure your dog doesn't crap on it or dig it up. So again, you protect it, you focus on it, you pay attention to it, you nurture it, you weed it, you feed it with all the right vitamins it needs, you pay attention. When it becomes solid, your dog can't do anything to it. And it is indestructible, but all of the effort goes into the beginning. And the trouble is with relationships, people go, well, I met you six months ago. Have you still remember me? Of course, they don't fricking remember you. You've done no pain of attention. You haven't seeded, you haven't paid attention, you haven't nurtured. So if you want sequoia trees of relationships to be in your Rolodex or iPhone, you've got to pay attention to the beginning. Not the latter part of the year, or just thinking that by shoving up a hand and going, Hey, Steve, that they're going to remember you. You've got to be the one that puts all the attention in. Hmm.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:17:31

Yeah, that's, that's certainly crucial. You can't just meet someone and be like, I've been thinking about what I want from you. So clearly you've been thinking about me.

Steve Simms: 00:17:40

Yeah, that's the eye game. Yeah.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:17:42

And so, so I guess my question, so one thing I focus on being a, ADHD extrovert is knowing that I'm not good at the process of remembering, you know, a month later, did I send them something or did I send them a book, that I always try to provide value early. So when I meet someone, I'm, I'm listening for who can I introduce them to, who's a good connection I can make for them, what's something I can do. up front and then where possible providing value because I often don't know what I want from someone. So, and frankly, it's easier to think about what you need than what I need because I need clarity in my business and focus and all that stuff to know what I want, but I can listen for what you need. And so, so I try to do that up front, but I'm, I'm less good at the remembering someone three months later when I'm on a plane to, to send them a, you know, to send them something. So do you have like a process for keeping track of that? Because I imagine your Rolodex is substantial.

Steve Simms: 00:18:38

It is. And once the one, let's go back to the Sequoia tree. Once the tree is fully grown, it needs no watering. It needs no weed. And it's looking after itself. As long as you've got that strong relationship, as long as you revisit it every two to three years, it's still good. You know but you've got to pay attention and move with purpose. So I will add, and my son's a you know, like a very nerdy CRM guy and he does all of these kind of things. But me, I'll open up an Excel spreadsheet and I will put the people in there that I've met. And then I will put in there one week, three weeks, five weeks. And then I will actually go into my calendar and I will just put a time in there. And when I've spoken to you, I'll then get into my calendar and I will fast forward six months, put another calendar reminder in there to catch up with you. And I'll go, Oh, don't forget to ask about the dog called Judy. You know, so in six months time, I'll phone you up and I'll be like, Hey, just one, Michael, how was Judy? And people are like, Whoa, you, you remember the dog, you know, and you do those kinds of things another way. And I've got a couple of little cheats here and I give you one, one good cheat. There's a lot of times that we forget to stay in contact with people and we let it, we let it kind of cut off. One of the things I like to do. And again, These are not for associates. These are not for buddy buddies. These are for people that you really want to show care to keep in your circle. Okay. I subscribe them to magazines or subscription services. Okay. Now subscription services and magazines, especially magazines, magazines are going bankrupt on a daily basis. Okay. You can buy a year's publication for like 18 now. You know, you can't buy a couple of decent cocktails for 18 bucks, but I can actually meet you we can talk about. Oh, you're you're impending. Restoring of your house. And then I go, Well, once you've done the household, Oh, then I've got to work on the garden. Yeah, great. You know, Oh, yeah, but then I'm planning a trip in Italy, but I don't know what I'm going to do. You've got a house, you've got gardening, you've got Italy. So you look up magazines for, like, garden restoration, or garden design, or first time in Italy, or, you know beautiful, you know, travel spots of Italy, and you go on and you subscribe them to that magazine, and then you send them a little note, and you go, Hey, thanks for last night, I really enjoyed it. You mentioned about the restoration of your house, and then you had to focus on the garden. By the way, I've just set you up for a subscription for a year with this magazine. I hope it helps. Now, magazines go out quarterly, okay? Sometimes they go out biannually, okay? The amount of emails and texts I get that come to me, like, a few days after the end of first quarter, and I can literally look at the people contacting me and go, Well, you've got your magazine, you've got your magazine, you've got your magazine, you've got your... And it reminds them because nothing's going on and then all of a sudden they get that garden and they're like, Oh, Steve, how is Steve? Hey, Steve, how you doing? I'm like, I'm great, thank you. How's that garden getting on for you? Hmm. And it doesn't cost you anything, but now even better, they're contacting you and all you've done is invested 18 onto it. I've had bigger tabs than that in Starbucks, so it doesn't, that doesn't cost a lot.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:22:21

That's great. I see that when you talk about sending someone else's book too, that you're sort of, in their mind, co branding yourself to them. So if I send you, you know, Gary Vee's book, then every time you see Gary Vee, you remember, Oh, Michael sent me his book. And you probably see Gary Vee more than you see Michael Whitehouse on the internet.

Steve Simms: 00:22:41

There you go. And you're also, you're also triggering because you're now putting yourself in alignment that you and Gary have the same standard. You see, if I send you my book, and yes, it's an absolutely fantastic book, but if I send you my book, it's my book. But if I send you Gary, Jim's, Tony's, any, any of those kinds of books, you go, wow, he sent me that book. He knows these people because sometimes, you know, I will know and I'll, I'll give you a little, a little trick here. When you go to an event and you see someone speaking, okay, that has a book, go up to him and you go, Hey, great conversation. How can I order 20, 30, 10 signed books? Now, here's a little thing that you probably already know. I've got, I think, four boxes of signed books, because as soon as they turn up, I sign them all, and they just sit there, and then someone goes, can I get your book? And they get a signed copy, okay? But when I'm buying them off of an author at a show, I'm not paying the main rate, I'm paying the author rate. So I'm getting them cheaper, and I'm getting them signed. So now you're getting a book signed by Gary V, Cameron Harrell, Jim Quick, Steve Sims, whatever, and you're like, whoa, he even got it signed for me. He must be really, really good buddies with him. Now, people I've mentioned to you, I am, but I've also sent out a bunch of books from people that I'm not that tight with, but also sent me a bunch of signed books.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:24:17

Ah, that is a great concept. I love that. And yeah, and so it associates you with them. It puts you near them in your mind and also shows, you know, well, and it doesn't necessarily put you above where you are, but you, where you are, cause you touch, if you do know them or, you know, people like them, but I guess we're thinking that way and networking connections breed networking connections, which is especially powerful. Now it sounds like some of. Some of what has helped you too is just the head bash through the brick wall sort of attitude. I mean, your book's called Go For Stupid, which sort of seems to be a, like, I'm gonna do it and screw you if you don't think I can. So talk a little about the, the, the mindset it takes, the energy. For people who don't naturally have that approach what, what is, what does that take to be able to just say, Oh, I'm just gonna do it.

Steve Simms: 00:25:10

Buckets. Let's talk about buckets for a second. You stick a sponge in a bucket of water inherently and automatically it's just gonna soak up all of that water. Okay? You stick that exact same sponge in a bucket of, of used old carb oil. And he's going to attempt to suck up all of that car oil, okay? As we are people, if we stick our head in a bucket full of negativity, depression, oppression, recession, distraction, distortion, we're soaking all of that up, then there'd be no room for anything else. Yeah, if we stick our head in a bucket full of positivity, what are we going to soak up? So, you saying that these people can't do that? I'm saying that you're sticking your head in the wrong bucket. You've got to change your environment. Do you remember I said about the tree? Yeah. Yeah. You've got to change your location. You've got to change what you listen to. A friend of mine, Peter Diamandis, who launched the X prize. He said to me, never watches the news in the morning. Some of the times they'll watch it at five o'clock at night. But if it's of importance. He'll get a text or something to pop up on his phone, but he never watches it because he wakes up in the morning. He's all pumped. It's a new day. The sun's shining. He lives well in Malibu. Everything's great. Turns the news on. Two hours of doom and gloom. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All of his optimism and positivity is now fighting against this distortion negativity. So why try to fight it? Ignore it. Don't listen to it. So, it's not a case of, Oh, I can't do that. It's a case of, well, maybe you're in an environment that doesn't allow you to do that. Yeah. You see, here's something for you, and I'll pick on you on this, Michael. If I say to you, okay, you've got your podcast, you've got your events, you've got your coaching. What is your goal over the next three, three years? And you give me your goal. And then I say, you're right, Michael, we're going to do this. It sounds impossible. We're going to make it possible. We're going to make the impossible possible. Impossible stands for I'm possible. Right? That's all very gritty, isn't it? It's like you're going into bloody war on a gladiator set. And anything that rigid and fierce. Cracks and breaks. But one of the things I learned with all of the amazing people that I've worked with all over the planet, is that they have childish curiosity, and they gamify everything. So if I said to you, Michael, what's your goal for the next three years, and you give me your goal, and I turn around and I go, Is that it? Surely we should, like, have some fun with this, Michael. What's the stupid goal we can have? You like a car next year? Why don't we go for five? Now, here's the thing. And you're gonna have to re watch this. I want you to look at your face over those two examples. One of them had you a little bit cringey. The other one had you laughing and chuckling. When you laugh and chuckle, you become a child, your nuance become creative, you explode with gamification and it's not impossible because now it's a game. Now it's a challenge. Now in my concierge days, I would have people going, Hey, I want, I want to meet the rock band journey backstage and we'd be like, well, okay, I hear you, but how can we make that request? Stupid. How can we be really daft with this? How could we just make it laughable? We ended up sticking that client on stage with the band and he's the shortest term lead singer of Journey and he sang four tunes live on stage in San Diego. We had a client that wanted an amazing dining experience in Florence. We shut down the Accademia de Galleria, set up a table of six at the feet of David. And then Michelangelo's David and then brought Andrea Bocelli in to serenade him while he hits his main course. We take what you've asked. and make it stupid. Now here's the thing, we're in a society today where we are really fast to judge and very slow to listen. And people love laughing at each other, not in a good way. And they want you to fail because most people in the planet have a poor mindset. And again, it's that location. If everyone around you is going, Oh, you can't do that. You cry. You're never going to be able to grow up because change your location, get into a room where people go, is that it? You, you, you really going to get the impact from that? I just expected more out of you. That's the room you need to be in. So in today's world, we actually try to push people. Now I released go for stupid. Last year last October, it became a bestseller. I think it's being tracked. Bluefish got translated in nine languages and is a bestseller in each go for stupid. I think we're up to like four or five languages. We haven't completed all the languages yet. And we've hit bestseller. I think in like three of those, we're giving it away for free at go for stupid. com. We don't get any hair products or the t shirt sales out of it. We're not trying to hit anyone up, but we want people to go for ridiculous goals because in today's world, we're actually laughing at people for the wrong reasons. We should be supporting. We should be challenging and nine times out of ten. The downside of that is that you are the room you are in. So is it your location is holding you back?

Michael Whitehouse: 00:31:07

Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I was talking to someone recently about being afraid to get up and dance because you don't want to, you know, look foolish. And... And, you know, the realization that some people slowly have is that no one's watching you dancing because they're too busy worrying about themselves. And then a lot of people, like me, and probably you, the ones we judge aren't the people dancing on the dance floor, it's the people sitting in the chairs who are afraid to get up.

Steve Simms: 00:31:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm the first one to dance. When my wife starts kind of like tapping her toes, I'm like... Let's get it up. And you're right. Everyone's kind of like, there'll be those little murmurs, there'll be those little giggles, and then there's the people there going, I want to get up as well. I really want to get up. I'm not going to miss out. My life is not being audited by you. So I'm going to live it to my rules, my standards, and I'm going to live it to the way that I want to. And I think that's how you should live your life. Yeah.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:32:00

Yeah. And I, I know I hang out in the right rooms because when I dance like a. You know, white guy, people are like, yeah, go Michael, because they see him. I'm giving it a shot. You know, people would rather watch someone dance with passion than sit in the chair and, and say, you know, wish I could wish I could. So where can, you know, it's, it's easy to say, find a better room. Yeah, but. And, but you know, if, if someone's in a place where maybe their spouse is not supportive, but you know, they're not in a position, you know, they're, they're married to them, they're not going to leave them and, you know, maybe their family is not supportive or their, their coworkers or, you know, people, it's, it, it's not just go to a different room. It's not like you go down the hallway and there's, you know destructive jerks and supportive, nice guys. And you just like, Oh, the other supportive, nice guys room. So if, what would you say to someone who's. Who's it's more structural for them. And it's not just find better friends. How can they surround themselves with better people when they when it's built around them.

Steve Simms: 00:33:01

Well, they're doing it now. They don't have to go down the corridor. They can start listening to podcasts. They can start reading books. They can join Facebook groups. I know for a lot of people, they are running, they are in toxic environments. Well, look, be a certain way in that environment. And then when you're out of that environment, you're driving in the car. Pick good podcasts, read good books, surround yourself with good positive information. You will break free. I had a friend of mine. He was a, he's a client and whenever he would come to my events, I had these events called speakeasies and whenever he would come to the event, he would always wear the coolest sneakers that I've ever seen. And I'm not a sneaker guy, but I'd be like, they are cool. And he'd be like, oh yeah, these are like this, this Japanese brand. And they're like 1, 200 and that, this and that. Every day, and like over three days, he'd wear like four different pairs of sneakers. Okay, and he collected them and then one day I was having a stopover in his city and I said, Hey, I've got a layover. So, you know, should we go out for tea? He's like, well, I'm down at the pub with my mates and I went, Oh, I'll come down and join you. And he had the shitty pair of old scuffed up Nikes on the literally had a hole on them. And I was like, what the hell are you doing? And I said, I never thought you would have worn anything. He's like, well, in this environment, I'm actually scared of wearing the good sneakers. For fear of what my buddies will say and I said, well, so you're telling me you're living your standards to them. And he was like, yeah, I was like, if you want to do that as a slippery slope down. So the following week he turns up at this, this bar with his buddies. Where's one of his cool sneakers. And of course, all of his buddies like, well, and they gave him a bit of a ribbon. Following week, he wears a different pair of sneakers. And one of the guys turns around and says, Hey, you know, I hate my... Where do you get your sneakers from? And he starts telling them. The third week, two of the guys are wearing decent sneakers. You see, the point is people want good standards, but somebody's got to be the first one to get on the dance floor. You may have a bunch of negativity around you, but they may actually be looking for someone to raise the standards of the room. Be those standards.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:35:29

So it's not that people want the room to be negative. It's just, that's how it is. And maybe they're waiting for someone. It's always easy.

Steve Simms: 00:35:35

It's always easy to be negative, isn't it? It's the easiest thing in the world to rip people apart. It's the easiest thing in the world to be the naysayer. But when someone breaks out and has the strength to stand up, you'd be surprised at how many people go, Oh, I want to stand with you.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:35:56

That is, that's a very powerful point. So you also need to leave your group of friends, you don't have to leave your family, maybe you just need to be the, the example for them and they'll follow. Bingo. That's extremely powerful. And that I, I can imagine that some positive effects will knock on from that.

Steve Simms: 00:36:17

Every time, every time. Worst case scenario, you'll realize that you've outgrown the room and you will naturally just move into a different room.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:36:25

That is, that is really good. Yeah. And I love that, that gopher stupid concept. Because I think it's, I think for a lot of people, if they think about, you know, I want to, you know, make another 20, 000, that feels hard. Yeah. But if it's, I want to make another 200, 000, that feels crazy. It's like, I just listened to Dan Sullivan's new book, 10X Better Is Easier Than 2X. Yeah. That, that it's like, you know, I want to make 10 percent more money. Well, maybe we'll do a different Facebook ad or whatever. Well, how are we going to make, how are we going to make 100 percent more money? Oh oof. Well, that's right. Only one way we can do that, and that is pretty clear what to do.

Steve Simms: 00:37:05

And also you gotta realize that if you try to make 20 grand extra next year, by going for 100 grand and failing and making 50, you know, you failed up. Yeah. And that's a big thing you want to be focusing on.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:37:20

Yeah. Yeah. That's that is really powerful. So this has been a fantastic conversation. I will definitely be be listening back to it because all kinds of good. I mean, I expected to be a fantastic conversation. It's Steve Sims, but it's been everything I expected more. Is there anything that you wish I had asked you that I did not ask you yet?

Steve Simms: 00:37:43

No, I think I think we're good. I think you know, you know how could people follow me? Maybe? I don't know. Well, I'm going to ask that one. I'm sure you would, you know, it's not your first rodeo. No, I think we had some good questions. I don't want to overload people, but they've just got to start off by, you know, changing the room, Naveen, and they can do that by listening to the podcast and books.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:38:02

Fantastic. So you did mention the, the go for stupid. com website where they can get your book. Are there other ways that they can follow you?

Steve Simms: 00:38:11

Steve D Sims. Don't forget the D in there for dashing and it's only one M in Sims. So stevedsims. com. They can find out about the book and Sims to still be my community, or they can go onto Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, just type in Steve D Sims and you'll find me. I suppose I'm most I suppose I do most of the work on Instagram but if you want to jump on Instagram, follow me and then send me a message. Just let me know that you'll heard me on this podcast.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:38:37

Awesome. And actually tell me a little bit about the the Sims Distillery.

Steve Simms: 00:38:42

We, I like going into masterminds and I've spent a lot of money in masterminds. Some of them have been absolutely brilliant. Some of them have been great upsell opportunities for people to try and get me to buy the next level of it. And it's been very annoying and very irritating, but I wanted to create the room that I wish I had found when I was younger. So I went around to a bunch of my friends and we said, I said, I want to set up that room. I want to set up that mastermind. So we get together. Three times a year at a live event. And we get together every Tuesday morning, nine till 10, where we have tech, we go through authors, we go through expert hours, we go through hot seats. So I wanted to build a community that supported where, you know, your credit card running through wasn't the sole way that we would pick you and allow you to come into the group. So we have people apply. We vet them, we stalk them, and then we accept them or decline them. But Sims Distillery is, is the, the room that I created for my aggravation.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:39:46

Hmm. Oh, I love that. Yeah. That's kinda how it ended up making my, my JV connect networking event that I finally got fed up and I'm like, why isn't anyone doing it the way it should be done?

Steve Simms: 00:39:55

There you go again, why don't I do that? Is that aggravation again?

Michael Whitehouse: 00:40:00

Yeah, someone should do that. Oh yeah. It's that guy. The guy with a gray beard. He should. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. It's been such an honor and pleasure to, to interview you. And I thank you for sharing everything you have and not overwhelming, but well educating our audience.

Steve Simms: 00:40:19

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Michael Whitehouse: 00:40:22

Thank you for joining us for the guy who knows the guy podcast. I'm Michael Whitehouse, the guy who knows the guy. And I hope you'll join us in December from the 12th to the 14th for JV connect, go to guy who knows a guy. com for more details. Now, if it's after December, 2023, and you're listening to this, it's okay, because we're going to be doing this event every quarter to go to guy knows a guy. com. See what's new, see what's happening, and of course check the show notes to learn about our guests and how you can get in touch with them. Check out our next episode for more great training, information, and networking tips from Michael Whitehouse, the guy who knows a guy.