As I often do, I made a social media post which was intended to remind people of their power to control their responses to their world. In this case, the post was “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” The intent of the sentiment is that we cannot prevent painful things from happening to us, but we can choose our response to it and whether we choose to suffer in that pain or deal with it in other ways.
Some people were inspired by this post and others were offended. I was hurt by their taking offense. I understood that those who were upset read the words through the lens of their experience and took a different meaning from that which was intended. What it took some time to recognize was the source of my own pain at the misunderstanding.
When I set up a one to one with someone, I send them a series of brief emails to share the various aspects of what I do. I have copied the particular messages to my blog so they can jump ahead to those that interest them more.
This is the one where I discuss my network and my book.
When I set up a one to one with someone, I send them a series of brief emails to share the various aspects of what I do. I have copied the particular messages to my blog so they can jump ahead to those that interest them more.
Looking around America in the 2020s, one thing is very clear. This ain’t your grandpappy’s economy. Long gone are the days when you can get a high school diploma, get a job down at the plant, and support a family until you retire with a pension.
Also gone are the days when you can get a college degree and be assured of good employment.
The economy has become more difficult. There are more losers and less winners than in previous decades. Much of this is because the economy has changed dramatically over the last twenty years, but we are still teaching people to work like it’s 1995.
Goalsetting, mindset, networking, and other topics are no longer the exclusive domain of entrepreneurs. Or, put another way, most people need to be at least a little entrepreneurial if they are going to be financially successful in the modern economy.
The problem is that the people who most need this guidance are those who are least able to afford it. The single mom working at Walmart for $8 per hour, the one who would do anything to make a better life for her family, cannot afford a $500 per month coaching program.
I wanted to do something that would make the knowledge I have to share accessible to a broader audience. The Morning Motivation podcast provides the inspiration, but people also need tools for action, and that is why I am creating a series of low cost audio courses.
For only a few dollars, those who are looking to find ways to start winning in the modern economy can find audio courses that will guide them on their path.
I appreciate you taking a few minutes to learn about what I do. Tomorrow, I will be sharing a bit about my network and how I built it, and I’ll have a special gift for you.
When I set up a one to one with someone, I send them a series of brief emails to share the various aspects of what I do. I have copied the particular messages to my blog so they can jump ahead to those that interest them more.
Some of the most exciting ideas in business happen by accident. This is how a the Conference21 virtual event grew into the Success Accelerator Network.
When I set up a one to one with someone, I send them a series of brief emails to share the various aspects of what I do. I have copied the particular messages to my blog so they can jump ahead to those that interest them more.
This is the one where I discuss my Coaching.
Among my various activities, coaching is the core of my business.
I describe myself as a mindset and business coach. Everything I do is focused around three pillars: Values, Vision, and Gratitude.
When I set up a one to one with someone, I send them a series of brief emails to share the various aspects of what I do. I have copied the particular messages to my blog so they can jump ahead to those that interest them more.
This is the one where I discuss my Morning Motivation Podcast.
How do you identify yourself? If you had to choose three words that most describe who you are, what would they be?
For myself, there are many to choose from like father, man, husband, American, Christian, Rotarian, silver fox, entrepreneur, coach, connector, teacher, and many more.
But which ones really matter? Which would be the most important?
How we identify ourselves and how we speak to ourselves creates our world. In The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, the First Agreement is to be impeccable with your word. Ruiz explains that the use of words casts spells and influences the world around us.
If you tell yourself that you are stupid or helpless or clumsy, your mind will hear those words as instructions and seek to make them true. Likewise, if you tell yourself that you are confident, ambitious, and powerful.
Over the past twenty years, with the very positive intention of destigmatizing mental health challenges, there has been a push to encourage people who suffer from mental health conditions to accept that the condition is part of who they are and not to judge themselves for it.
But this can be taken too far when we embrace the condition as a part of our identity. I have known people with clinical depression and other disabilities who made that a core part of who they are.
The danger in this is that you cannot easily change your core identity. It is who you are. Once you embrace a disability or adversity as part of your core identity, you will guard that part of your identity as you guard every other part. Strategies which might mitigate or even eliminate the adversity are now a threat to you and who you are, and you will resist them.
We should be offended if someone tells us that we cannot do something, but we should be inspired if we are shown ways that someone with our challenges can succeed. However, if we embrace your adversity as part of our identity, we will see such suggestions that our adversity can be overcome as attacks on our identity. We will be offended by the suggestion that it can be overcome because it is part of us instead of simply a challenge we face.
Over the last thirty years, there has been a push towards people first language. “Person with disabilities” instead of “disabled person.” “Person who suffers from alcoholism” versus “alcoholic.”The language is important because when we say “disabled person” then the disability is their identity. When we say “alcoholic” the addiction is their identity.
When we say “person with…” it shows that the person is many faceted and this is just one part of them.
People are increasingly attentive to using people first language when speaking about others, but too often we do not use it when speaking about ourselves.
“I am a minimum wage worker.”
“I am broke.”
“I am a failure.”
When we say “I am” we are putting a stake in the ground and declaring that this point is where I will stand. This is why aspirational language is so powerful.
“I am an entrepreneur” you might say when you first launch your website declaring your business open.
“I am a businessperson” you might say when you get your first job.
“I am an artist” you might say when you create your first work of art.
Consider the two sets of “I am” statements I discussed.
Our minds will seek justification for anything we say. We hate being wrong. If I say that I am broke, then my mind will justify it by making sure that money does not stay in my hands too long. That money makes my statement wrong, and we hate being wrong.
On the other hand, if I say “I don’t have money right now,” or “I am working a minimum wage job right now” then it becomes a situation, not an identity. The difference between “I am cold” (put on a coat to solve that) and “I am always cold” (for which there is no solution).
I have ADHD, and it affects me but does not define me. I identify as an entrepreneur who deals with ADHD. There are many times where the challenges of ADHD affect my work. At those moments, if I identified as a person who was a victim of ADHD, then my mind would seek to justify that identity, causing the disorganization and scattered attention to win.
If I identify instead as an entrepreneur, then my mind will automatically seek to circumvent anything that contradicts my identity. When I am derailed by distraction and disorganization born of ADHD, I will automatically seek to redirect back onto the entrepreneurial path.
While the ADHD is part of who I am, the identity I choose is that of someone who does what he sets out to do. This is how I have hundreds of podcast episodes up, including my Morning Motivation which is about to hit it’s 100th episode of a series which goes out almost every single day. That kind of consistency is not something you expect from ADHD, but it’s something I expect of myself.
The effect is subtle but very powerful.
How do you identify?
Are you broke or are you a person who doesn’t have a lot of money at the moment?
Are you a failed businessperson or are you an entrepreneur who is seeking the next success?
Sit down and write out every word, positive and negative that you might use to describe yourself. Now choose three of them to be the ones that really represent you. And since you’re choosing, you might as well choose the ones you want to be. If you lean into this, you’ll find that you will unconsciously move towards the identity you choose.
If you would like to delve further into this, I would be happy to do a complimentary coaching session with you to explore your self identity and what subtle change you might make to achieve profound results.
This piece was originally written as the script for an audio piece I recorded for the Bookboon audio library.
2020 was a very disruptive year, and 2021 is just following that trend, but disruption is not always bad. It has closed some avenues and opened others. In the next few minutes, I’ll share with you some universal tips and strategies for networking then I’ll share with you some of the incredible new opportunities that this new virtual space has created.
Willie Mandrell is a self-made multi-millionaire real estate investor, broker, coach, lecturer & author. As a buyer, seller, and broker he’s been involved with well over $200 million in real estate transactions. He has been featured in numerous trade magazines and he is a frequent guest on real estate and wealth related podcast, television, & radios shows across the US. Willie is the author of Cash Flow Secrets, a book on real estate investing & finance tips most people are never taught but need to know.
See Willie Mandrell and many more great speakers at Conference21.
